Monday 21 November 2011

...Why People Do These Things In Public

I'm just going to start listing them. There is no need for an introduction. These things are just plain annoying.

1. Littering. So like, you finish your cheeseburger from McDonald's and then you realise you still have the wrapper in your hand. Unfortunately for you, it's not edible. So what do you do? Do you burn off all the calories you just ate by walking to the nearest bin (I mean, you can actually see it, it's right there) or just casually throw it on the ground, hoping that no one sees? We do see you. Plastic bags and beer bottles are not decorative items. Unless you throw your food scraps and glad wrap onto your floor at home, then there is no reason why you are doing this outside.

2. Spitting spit (how redundant) or gum. Just like how you squirm when a bird defecates on you, we squirm when we step in your spit or your chewed gum. Our shoes do not like it. And it's rather gross. And, as expected, we don't want to see you doing this either. There are bins and tissues for a reason. Gum also usually comes with packaging - use that. Or otherwise, we'll have to take action and raid your home and spit on your carpet. Exciting.

3. This is one isn't even going to have a title. I hope this explains what I mean - in the men's changing room at the Newmarket Pools there are multiple signs above the hair-dryers saying "these hair-dryers are only to be used on the hair on your head". Gross.

4. Talking extremely loudly or even shouting at each other across the road. "Oh my God Daisy, I haven't seen you in like forever! -weird hand gesture-. What have you been up to?! Did you know Sandra got knocked up by a homeless man and had a baby?!" We don't care. And I don't think Sandra wants everyone to know that either. We certainly do not want to hear it being yelled across over a street. And then, you might even look disgusted at us for eavesdropping on your conversation. Your shrill, annoying voice is pretty hard to ignore. Sorry.

5. Playing music really loudly in your car as you drive with the windows down. We don't want to hear your s%^& music. And plus, you'll probably go deaf. Really, we have your best interests at heart.

6. Groups of people walking in a horizontal line on the footpath. So, we're in a hurry to get somewhere and you walk at like 2km/hour in front of us. And to make it worse, you and your three other friends are walking side by side so there is no way for anyone to pass you. We then have to risk our lives to pass you by walking on the car lane for a while. You don't need to hold hands to walk down a street (although I do admire the fact that all four of you can walk at the same speed).

7. Making out and groping. Get a room. Please.

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